Heartache
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: pre-series. Jared's first Valentine's day without Michaela and he's not handling it too well. Oneshot


Title: Heartache  
author: Cindy Ryan  
category:pre-series,one-shot 

It was just past nine pm on Valentine's day. Officer Jared Vasquez walked along the Long Island Sound staring out at the dark water. A mix precipitation of rain and snow fell lightly but Jared didn't mind. In fact he welcomed it. The sharp cold air hitting him like a slap in the face. Jared's emotions and thoughts had been all over the map all day. It was a miracle he'd made it through the end of the shift in one piece. This was the first Valentine's day since flight 828 had disappeared. Jared had thought Thanksgiving and Christmas had been insanely tough. Today had slammed into him like a cement truck. Jared missed Michaela so much that it was hard at times to breathe. The pain and grief crushing him like a physical weight. Jared couldn't imagine what Grace was gong through. Losing both Ben, Cal and Michaela in one horrible incident. In a flash half her family was gone.

Stopping by a bench Jared stood at the end of it and watched the black water. Movement drew his attention and he saw a young couple obviously in love walking hand in hand down the path. They only saw each other didn't care about the sleet that was now coming down. Jared watched them until they were out of sight. It was as if some one had ripped a bandage off with no warning. The grief surged nearly dropping Jared to his knees. He recovered and sank onto the wet bench.

Valentine's day had always been almost a joke to them. Each acknowledging it was a commercial holiday. More for the candy, greeting card and flower industry to get rich. Still they had done little things for each other on that day. Buying the other a favorite coffee or meal at lunch, a card left in a locker. It'd become a running joke to see which of them could find the most humorous stuffed animal with the traditional heart shaped box of candy attached. Mic had found a still didn't know where she'd found it.

Now he was alone on the most romantic day of the year. The wind picked up slapping the sleet mixed with snow against his unprotected head and face Jared ignored it. He knew he should head for home. He had an early shift the next day. Still he couldn't get his body to move; or his soul to care. Home just held more reminders that Michaela was gone. He'd managed to pack her things into a closet but that was as far as he'd gotten. Shutting the door on that closet had felt like putting a nail in a coffin.

Pain bit into his fingers and Jared glanced down in surprise. He'd forgotten about the rose he'd bought from a street vendor. Jared still didn't know why he'd bought it. Maybe because he felt sorry for the male youth standing out in the snow. Maybe he'd thought to take it home and put it next to Michaela's picture. Now as he looked at the blood on his fingers Jared didn't know.

Standing Jared walked to the water's edge. Flight 828 had been flying above water when it disappeared. No islands near by, nothing. Just the Atlantic. Jared had often wondered about Michaela's last moments. Had the plane broken apart? Had it crashed and sank? Explosion? Was she aware of everything or unconscious? Jared had prayed that she and the others hadn't suffered.

"I love you, Michaela."Jared said to the wind and the dark water.

Swallowing hard Jared tossed the rose into the sound. He thought the wind would whip it away, but it hit the water. The rose floated for a moment before being tugged under.

"I miss you, Mic."Jared continued quietly. "Every day, every minute."

Jared still found himself doing a double take at the station if a woman passed by him with blonde hair. Hell today he'd caught himself listening for her voice to come over the police radio in response to a call. With a sigh Jared ran a hand over his face. People kept saying it'd get easier. Jared didn't think it ever would.

Finally Jared turned away from the water and started back along the path. It was time to go home.

end


End file.
